Matrimonial Quarrel: Why Couples Fight and How to Stop It for Better Well-being
We all want to be happy, especially in our relationships. But arguments between partners are common. Constant arguing is unhealthy, draining, and can even affect our well-being. We try to avoid them, but once a fight starts, it can feel impossible to stop.
However, if you understand why fights happen, you can learn how to control and even prevent them. The same logic might even help you understand why animals, like monkeys and dogs, fight, too.
Learning from Animals
To understand what causes fights, we can look at a simple observation of animals.
First, we watched a small dog eating. When we brought a much bigger dog near it, the small dog simply stopped eating and walked away. There was no fight.
Next, we watched a big dog eating and brought another dog of the same size near it. This time, the two dogs started barking at each other. We saw a similar result with a small dog when another small dog approached its food.
The lesson here is simple: a fight is more likely to happen between equals. When one feels much weaker than the other, they will usually avoid a conflict. We saw similar results when we ran these tests with monkeys.
The Biology of an Argument
This behavior isn't just about pride; it's also about biology.
When we feel threatened or angry, a part of our brain called the "amygdala" is activated. This releases a hormone called "norepinephrine". This is what causes the physical feelings of anger: your heart beats faster, you feel tense, and your body goes into a state of stress. This happens to animals, and it happens to us, too.
Simple Ways to Stop a Fight
So, knowing this, what can we do when we feel an argument starting?
- Walk Away. The easiest way to stop a fight is to remove yourself from the situation. Just like the small dog walking away from the bigger dog, you can choose to leave the room. This stops the argument immediately and gives you both time to calm down.
- Take a Deep Breath. When you feel your heart beating faster, that's a sign that your body is in "fight mode". Taking a slow, deep breath is a simple way to calm your body down. It's like sending a signal to your brain that says, "It's okay, we don't need to fight."
- Praise Your Partner. This can be difficult in the moment, but it works. If you can't think of something to praise, it is better to just keep quiet and walk away. But if you can, offering a kind word can change the feeling of the conversation from negative to positive. For more on this, you can read our article entitled "Rejuvenate Your Brain, and Praise for Success".
An Additional Tool for a Calm Mind
In addition to these techniques, we have also studied how to calm the brain directly. Our own surveys have shown promising results. We found that 172 out of 200 couples reported that their arguments decreased or stopped after trying PYRO-ENERGEN therapy.
This is because the therapy helps to calm and normalize brain functions, making it easier to avoid the stress response that leads to fights.
Junji Takano is a Japanese health researcher involved in investigating the cause of many dreadful diseases. In 1968, he invented PYRO-ENERGEN, the first and only electrostatic therapy machine that effectively eradicates viral diseases, cancer, and diseases of unknown cause.
Click here to find out more: https://www.pyroenergen.com/
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